Enter: Three Girls Arrive at Konoha
by Chibified Moogle
Summary: After the three year time change, three deranged girls find themselves at Konoha, and cause extreme chaos. What will happen? Read to find out! Rated T for safety.
1. Meet the Girls

**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Naruto, and the plot of this story was suggested by a few of my other friends. Please read and rate! All comments are appreciated.

**Troubles of Naru-Tebayo!**

Written by, well, you know who.

**What happens when three crazy girls get transported into Konoha!**

**Information on the Three Crazy Girls**

**Data: Kiki**

**Age: 10**

**Hobbies: Stealing iPods, Jumping off cliffs**

**Hates: Blond people (no offence to all the people I know that are blond)**

**Data: Chicken**

**Age: 10**

**Hobbies: Whacking people with her spiffy bat**

**Hates: People who are not vegetarian**

**Data: Mug**

**Age:10**

**Hobbies: Poking people's hair**

**Hates: Cups**

**-Regular Days-**

Kiki chewed on a piece of gum carelessly as she tied her hair into a giant bun.

She popped onto the computer and signed up on her aim account as she twirled her hair around. She noticed that her other two friends were signed on as well. Here's how the chat story went approximately like:

**CATLuver1101**(that's Kiki): Hey, you guys! Wassup!111

**Chibianimefreak002**(that's Chicken): piknhrhjun4ywsij.

**Chibianimefreak002**: L:oijegliaehnlgr4hnysw?ewago;jkr;lijy?

**CATLuver1101**:OMG STOP SPAMMING YOU CHEEPO!(purposely misspelled)

**CATLuver1101** has signed off at 7:01 P.M. Saturday.

**FleepitOMHEMHEMeepit** (that's Mug): Am I too late?

**Chibianimefreak002**: Weell…Kiki signed off.

**FleepitOMHEMHEMeepit**: Aw…that's too bad….NOT!

**Chibianimefreak002**: Lol. I spammed her…want proof?

**FleepitOMHEMHEMeepit**: Nope.

**Chibianimefreak002: **Here, I'll show you anyways!

**Chibianimefreak002**:Ilhjnyeikjrme,

ujmhsrieohjuijrhuoirjhikjrehiejrohijeroihjerijhoierjmhno,jrmehkijer!

;gjslkrymjnhlicsjrhnyik,.mj5e9iyo8904yhjdmhrbn,kjrd;ophnksrdp;n

;emhjber,kmhjuij4wikyjgswoi4eyhjuowjugyo4wiejugow4eioy4weigju.

**FleepitOMHEMHEMeepit**: Aggh! –chokes on spam-

**FleepitOMHEMHEMeepit** has signed off at 7:03 P.M. Saturday.

**Chibianimefreak002**: Aw.

**Chibianimefreak002** has signed off at 7:04 P.M. Saturday.

Suddenly, all three girls felt a rush of air swooping under them, and that was the last thing they saw before darkness overcame them.

4


	2. Team Gai and the Hospital

-**Meet Gai's Team-**

Kiki awoke to find that she being carried -bride style- along a path. She looked up and saw a thick eye browed bowl haired guy.

"Ahhhhhh!" she screamed, and the thick eye browed afro haired guy dropped her on the floor. Then, she noticed that her friends were being carried by a boy with no pupils and a girl wearing her hair in buns- "Hey! That's my hairdo!" wailed Kiki as she ran away, screaming and yelling her head off.

A miniature version of the thick eye browed man stood in front of her. "Stop," he yelled. "AGH! Thick eye browed ugly afro aliens! They're everywhere! SAVE ME!" she yelled as she threw herself off a cliff.

By now, Chicken and Mug had been awoken. They sped off as soon as Kiki hurled herself off the cliff, only to be knocked out unconscious, by the no pupiled-guy with long hair, who muttered, "Hn."

Kiki was hurtling down the cliff as a hand grabbed her by her foot. The girl with her hair in buns frowned as she pulled her up. "Hold still," the girl insisted crossly. "If you move around, it'll be harder to pull you up." Kiki looked up in fascination and waved her arms around like a chicken. "Gah! It's the evil hairdo copy machine! COPYING EVERYTHING! DIE! DIE! DIE! YAGH!" She kicked the girl with her free foot ruthlessly and the girl let go, wincing in pain.

Kiki had almost hit the bottom of the cliff when she saw the thick eye browed afro hair man racing down the cliff. That was her last image as she went unconscious…again.

Kiki awoke again, as she was in a soft, white bed.

"Looks like she's awake now," said a calm voice.

Kiki sat up, looking around. She was in a hospital, and the girl with buns, the white eyed boy with long hair, the two versions of the thick eye browed afro aliens were staring at her.

"My name is Rock Lee!" the miniature thick eye browed afro alien announced.

Kiki looked at him closely. "Are you an alien?" she asked, out of her curiosity. Rock Lee turned a bright shade of green that matched his spandex clothing. "Huh?"

The next moment, Kiki was up and running. "Tag, you're it, No Eye Boy!" she screamed loudly as she whacked the white eyed boy on the forehead. The boy glowered. "Since you're a stranger here, I'll forgive you for doing that. As for my name, I would wish to be called Hyuuga Neji."

"Since you're a stranger here, I'll forgive you for doing that. As for my name, I would wish to be called Hyuuga Neji." commented Kiki.

Neji raised an eyebrow, saying, "You had better not be copying me."

"You had better not be copying me." mimicked Kiki, and took Rock Lee's sake bottle, drinking down all it's contents.

The girl with the buns scolded her. "Don't talk to Neji nee-san like that!"

"Who're you?" Kiki asked rudely, her voice slurred with alcohol.

"I am Tenten." said the girl, putting her hands on her hips.

"Hey, you stole my drink!" complained Rock Lee. "I was saving it for a battle!"

"I never denied it," giggled Kiki, and hiccupped.

A vein pulsed on Neji's head, and flames appeared in Rock Lee's eyes.

In the next room, room A35, Team Asuma was having the same troubles.

"My name is Chicken," the brown haired girl exclaimed, looking longingly at the bag of barbeque chips in Chouji's hands.

The big boned boy rubbed his hands on his shirt and wiped his mouth, the crumbs dripping down and onto the floor.

"I am Chouji, and I like eating chicken! Yummy!"

"Chouji, don't be so rude toward-"the blond haired girl started, but she was cut off.

"Agh! You like chicken! You eBil fatso!" howled Chicken, and started whacking Chouji with a giant metal bat that appeared out of nowhere.

"I especially-" Chouji said between whacks-"-like-"-whack- "-curry-"-whack-"-chicken!"

"EAT THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!" the girl screamed.

"Geez, this is going to be troublesome," said the pineapple headed boy dryly. He went to the window and watched the clouds.

But none of these were as bad as what topic Team Kakashi landed on.

"Who's this person?" asked a spikey blond haired boy.

"I am Mug!" the green haired girl cheered for herself.

"You mean you are a cup?" the blond boy asked, making a strange expression on his face.

"I am Mug!" the green haired girl said again, showing her white teeth.

"I know your name is Mug. Mine is is Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm going to be the Hokage. But enough of that. When you say that, do you mean cup, or-" Naruto was interrupted by a pink haired girl who punched him on the head.

"Ignore him, I say," said the pink haired girl vehemently, as Naruto was massaging his now injured head. "Naruto can be a bit prying, sometimes. Sorry about that."

Mug shrugged. "Can I ask you a question?"

The pink haired girl did not hesitate to answer.

"Sure."

"Ok. Here it comes. Were you born ugly, or was it when your hair turned pink?"

The pink haired girl smiled, but her inner sakura was twisting in annoyance: Shannaro! Damn it! Punch her to the ground! Make sure she doesn't say that dirt again! Or I'll…!

The pink haired girl pushed (actually, shoved) her inner sakura away.

"Actually, my hair is naturally pink, and second of all, I don't think I'm the ugly one. However, my name, is Haruno Sakura. Nice to meet you."

Mug did not seem to care at all about the answer, "It was a rhetorical question!" she declared loudly so that everyone could hear. She looked at the boy with the flat black hair. He smiled a lot, which annoyed her.

"Hello, mister Smiley. You know what? Yo mama's so fat that when she was wearing a yellow jacket the policeman was like, 'Hey, you in the yellow taxi! You're blocking the road!'"

The boy with the smile stopped smiling. "My name is…Sai. I don't have a mother, or a family, for that matter, and I'm pleased to meet you…"

"N-E-W H-A-G."

Mug ignored this insult and turned toward the door. "Where are you going?" Naruto demanded.

"I'm off to see my friends for a little while." Mug said, and closed the door behind her.


	3. The Godaime's Meeting and Assignment

**-Observations -**

As Mug came back, and Naruto and Sakura were chatting cheerfully, Mug noticed something.

"Wait a sec." said Mug, being very observative. She had visited all the other groups, and a common element was missing. "Why do you have an assassin in your group? (Anbu) Aren't the teams supposed to be balanced?"

Naruto, Sai, and Sakura were deathly quiet.

"We used to have a different comrade…"

The silence was cured as Chicken popped into the room, screaming, "EAT THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!"

The nurse, who entered all the rooms with the sense of unwelcoming in her mind, told all the 4 people inside each room that the girls would stay in the hospital and that the next morning, they all had to meet at the center of Konohagakure's hidden leaf village at 5:00 A.M.

Each girl went to sleep with the satisfaction of annoying everyone.

-**Mission Time**-

All the people EXCEPT the three girls were there on time.

"Aw man," complained Naruto irritably. "I didn't even get to finish my cup ramen noodles tebayo!"

(about 4 HOURS later all the girls arrive)

"Whoot! We're here, Lee-teme!" hooted Kiki as all the girls drove to the building in a machine no ninja could possibly know…a car.

And you know what else? Rock Lee winced.

Although he was not tired after waiting 4 hours(he believed in the fountain of youth), he still did NOT like it when people were late, and he ESPECIALLY did not like it when people addressed him as teme.(bastard)

All of the girls jumped out of the machine you will most likely know as a car. They pressed a button, and the machine thing a majig gave off a beeping noise.

Chicken took out her spiffy bat and started running towards Chouji, waving it maniacally at him.

Kiki was throwing her hands up and waving them about as she ran past Konoha village citizens.

Mug was the only one who walked and normally, unless, of course, you noticed that she was wearing FAKE leather and FAKE alligator skin and FAKE hair.

As all these girls were doing this, the lady with the blond hair and sign with 'Gamble' on her back frowned in distaste.

As all the girls arrived at the main base, Tsunade looked at them regally.

"Agh!" wailed Mug, looking at the blue dot on tsunade's forehead. "She's hindu! Chicken! Help me!"

At the sound of her name, Chicken screamed. "Eat the other white meat!" she yelled, and started whacking Chouji with the bat again.

Kiki screamed as well. "I am a VEGETARIAN!" she screeched, and looked around for another cliff to jump off.

A vein pulsed on Tsunade's head. She slammed her heel down on the ground, and a giant crack grew, trapping the hyperventilating girls in between. "Enough is enough!" she boomed.

The girls blinked.

"Now that you are listening, I will explain your position," Said Tsunade, pacing around.

"You three girls will not be having an occupation in the Village of the Hidden Leaf. Instead, you all will be sent back to the place where you are supposed to reside. How are you going to get back there?"

Chicken yelled, "Clap our heels together ten times!"

Another large vein appeared on Tsunade's head.

"No. That was a rhetorical question. A good and hard A-rank mission should knock you back into your senses. Don't worry. I have researched the case well enough. I'm positive that it will work. The leader of your mission will be Shikamaru." (Tsunade's in a bad mood, but she knows how to send them back…the hard way.)

A black banged short haired lady holding a pig with pearls around it's neck protested nervously. "Tsunade-sama!" (Byuay-byuay, said the pig, tense..)

Tsunade glared her fiercest glare. "Do you doubt the word of the fifth Hokage?"

The lady looked doubtful, but she quieted.

Just then, Mug bristled. "What kind of lady are you? I live in a city!"

Naruto scratched his head. "Whatsa city…?"

Tsunade raised her eyebrow. "You will be going on a mission to bring back Uchiha Sasuke and kill Orochimaru."

The response from the girls was not what anyone expected.

"Coolio, we're gonna go back to Texas!" cheered Chicken.

Mug looked amazed, then happy. "We are! Yippee!"

Kiki just blinked again.

The rest of the ninjas were silent as a gravestone.

Everything was still.

Until…

"Phew, Kiki, you sure did rip a big one," said Mug, waving her hands around in the air.

Chicken held her nose.

Three big veins were now sticking out of Tsunade's head.

"DISMISSED!"


	4. Mission: Start!

-**Organization**-

Everybody was organizing a plan for tomorrow and how they would get to where they supposed Orochimaru's hideout was…except for the girls, obviously.

They were just doing what you would be expecting them to be doing…chasing butterflies, giggling at nothing in particular, and looking forward to going back to Texas. (as Naruto wondered, "Where's Texas?")

Here is a basic list for all the people that were coming on the trip.

Naruto,

Sakura,

Sai,

Shikamaru,

Ino,

Chouji,

Gaara,

Temari,

Kankuro,

Neji,

Tenten,

Rock Lee.

Mug,

Chicken,

And Kiki.

A lot of people, right? But they were all very vital to the success of the mission, well, actually, except for the girls. Wait a sec, you didn't read the part where the three girls were being introduced to the Sand Team…here it is!

**-Before, Being Introduced to the Sand Team-**

Chicken screamed as she looked at a black jacketed pointy eared makeup wearing boy.

"Ooh, a kitty wearing makeup!" she yelped cheerfully, "And look," she squealed in delight. "It has a puppet!"

Kankuro, fortunately for them, was listening to his loudly tuned iPod Nano.

(inspired by an AMV) "What's his name?" Kiki asked the girl beside him curiously.

The blond spiky haired girl and with the giant fan frowned slightly. "Oh, him? His name is Kankuro, and, as for me, I'm Temari. Mind you, he isn't an interesting person to be around with. He listens to that iPod of his twenty four-seven. But during battles, he's mighty strong. A good person to be friends with."

Mug, who was looking at the other red haired boy, giggled. "Haha. You have weird hair…IT"S ALIVE!" She poked the red haired boy's hair rudely.

Then something struck her.

"What's your name, why don't you have eyebrows, why do you have black makeup all over your eyes, and why do you have the love sign on your head?"

The red haired boy just looked at her.

Mug was looking at Temari's fan. She turned around, and squinted at Gaara.

"Do I know you?" she asked.

"…" (Gaara had the look of murderous intent on his face)

Mug left Gaara looking EXTREMELY dangerous.

**-Stocking Up -**

Naruto packed lots of cups of ramen into his blue backpack, grinning slightly to himself. He had never gone hungry on ANY missions, and this was NOT about to be his first.

As he zipped up his backpack, he noticed something shining and silver lying on his bed.

Oh. He had almost forgotten one of the most important things.

He unzipped the blue backpack and put the slashed headband into his backpack.

This wasn't a regular D-rank mission…

**-Godaime's Room -**

Two Anbu were having a meeting with Tsunade.

"You've found the hideout location of Orochimaru…? That's good. Thank you. Dismissed."

Tsunade wrapped the scroll that showed Orochimaru's lair into her pocket. Alright.

It was time.

-**Worries-**

Everyone was arriving at 7:00 in the morning. Luckily, they set the time to three, so even the girls got there at the correct time…for once. All of them set off, and as Sakura was about to follow all of them, Tsunade stopped her. "Sakura…you cannot let your feelings take over this mission. Do you hear me?"

Sakura nodded. "Alright."

"Then you may go."

Sakura departed, but at that moment both of them knew that Sakura was the worst liar in the world.

**-Knocked Out-**

"Marco!" screamed Kiki, hiding in the trees.

"POLO!" yelled Mug, giggling.

Naruto winced. He could still not understand why they had to come along. They were most likely going to mess up the mission.

Suddenly, something sharp stung him on the neck, and he fell to the ground, before saying,"Sakura-chan tebayo!"

Sakura whirled around. She looked at his neck, and took out what she noticed seemed to be a tranquilizer dart. She, then, felt something sting her neck, and was out in a second.

All the ninjas were knocked out so far….except…well you know who.


	5. Trouble Strikes

-**Meeting Voldemort/Michael Jackson/Lickitung/Michael Jackson's Evil Twin-**

"MARCO!" screamed Chicken this time, behind a bush.

"POL-OH MY GOD IT"S MICHAEL JACKSON!1 COOL!" screamed Kiki.

"Where?" asked Mug, looking around with her blue eyes.

"THERE!" Kiki pointed up, towards a branch.

They looked up.

Sure enough, it looked like Michael Jackson…except…he had…a long…toungue?-

"It's not Michael Jackson, stupid. IT"S VOLDEMORT!" screamed Chicken, yelling her head off. "OH MY GOD! QUICK! LET"S KILL HIM BEFORE HE CAN KILL HARRY POTTY!"

She took out her bat and started trying (and I mean _trying_) to whack the snakish man with it, yelling, "Avada Kedavra!"

The snake man looked surprised, and then licked his lips with his long tongue.

Mug's eyes widened. "IT'S LICKITUNG!" she yelled, and threw pokemon food (that appeared out of nowhere) at the snakish man.

Kiki shook her head. "It's obviously not Michael Jackson…it's his TWIN!" She yelled. She took out a piece of paper and a pencil from her right pocket, then yelled,"WOW! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH! I LOVE LISTENING TO YOUR MUSIC!"

The snakish man raised his eyebrow.

There was a nerdy looking-blue haired boy next to the snakish looking man, at which Chicken yelled at him, "You must be Scabbers, Voldymort's friend, right?"

The nerdy looking boy scowled irritably.

"My name is Kabuto, and this is Orochimaru-sama."

All the three girls blinked, and wondered _exactly where _they had heard this name before. Whatever.

Kiki couldn't help it, but she laughed, because…"You look like a nice couple!" she blurted out between her laughter.

Chicken started laughing, and so did Mug.

Orochimaru looked at them. "Don't laugh before you DIE!"

That was what they heard before they were KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS!

-ahem!-

-**Caught**-

Kiki was walking toward a cell, playing with a highlighter that she had found in her pocket.

She was trailing the blue liquid against the wall, while Michael Jackson's evil twin and Kabuto were watching her very closely, to make sure she wouldn't try to escape.

Then, again she found herself and the other two girls who were in the same room, except this time, all three were awake. She woke up, and saw Orochimaru and Kabuto looking at her. "Wait a sec…" she said, thinking about Kabuto's name. Then suddenly, she screamed out in a sing-song voice, "KABUTO'S A POKEMON!"

Kabuto adjusted his glasses.

Orochimaru looked at him, then said, "All the other ninjas are being kept in other rooms. If you don't do what we want you to do, we will hurt the others."

Kiki just looked at him.

Chicken and Mug screamed, "I'm going to sleep!"

Then they both fell on the floor, snoring their butts off.

"Wow…" the nerdy guy muttered. "That sure was random."

The other two girls woke up, and blinked.

Chicken raised her arm. "My name's Chicken! Nicetameecha, Voldymort!"

Kabuto wrinkled his nose. "What kind of name is chicken?"

Chicken wrinkled her nose. "What kind of name is Kabuto…"

Kiki screamed, "Kabuto's A POKEMON!"

Mug just looked at them...and chewed a piece of gum.(what the heck? Where'd she get a piece of gum…?)

Kabuto adjusted his glasses again.

"Ahem," he said. "We will give you a day to decide."

And you know what? That was the WRONGEST choice anyone could ever make for the three girls.

"Lol," said Mug a while after they were gone from the TEN inch thick room.

-**Songs-**

In Kiki's left pocket, she took out Kankuro's iPod she had taken while he was packing up.

She turned on the music on EXTREMELY loud, and listened to Spice Girls Wannabe.

_I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want._

_So tell me what you want, what you really really want._

_I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want._

_So tell me what you want what you really really want!_

_I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ah!_

screamed all the girls loudly.

Far away from this entire ruckus, Orochimaru reluctantly accepted the pink earmuffs that Kabuto offered him, and sitting next to them was a boy about 15 years old, the same age and the same height as Naruto, with black spiky hair and red eyes was wondering which prisoners could be so loud.

-**iPod Crusher-**

He walked toward the noise, and scowled. Through the screen, he saw three girls singing some kind of deranged song, and he seriously needed to get his nap time in, so he opened the door with the code and buttons.

As the black haired boy opened the door,

Chicken screamed in his face.

_So here's the story from A to Z._

_You want to get with me, you got to listen carefully. _

_There's M in the place, she likes it in you face,_

_There's G like MC who likes it on and_

_Easy V who doesn't come for free, she's a real LADay!_

The black haired red eyed snatched the iPod, dropped it on the floor, and stepped on it quite harshly.

"Hey," wailed Kiki. That was her/Kankuro's iPod NANO!

She started kicking the boy in the shins, and the boy cursed and shut the door behind him as he left, rather quickly.

"Nu!" wailed Kiki again. She shook her fist at the door.

"YOU SHALL PAY!"

The black haired kid already left. Lol.

Let's not make anymore introductions. They're troublesome, like Shikamuru always says. (_A little further away in a 10 inch cell, Shikamaru sneezes)._

His name is Sasuke, and he used to be on team Kakashi.

Sasuke went to Orochimaru, and demanded to know, "Who in the world were those three girls in the 10 INCH THICK ROOM!-ahem-"

Orochimaru was also listening to an iPod… with Kabuto. (What!)

Sasuke grabbed that iPod too, and stepped on it.

Orochimaru wailed. "Hey! That was MY iPod NANO!

Sasuke stormed away.

-**Name Callings-**

He went to check the other cells. If there were weird girls in a cell, he could most likely find Team 7 in one of the cells somewhere. He somehow felt that they were related. As he walked past one of Orochimaru's random servants, he asked, "Hey! You!" The man stopped and looked in fear at him.

"Y-yes, Sasuke-sama (what the heck?), what can I d-do for you?"

The man asked, trembling in fear. (The man was at least 20 years older than him, lol)

Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Which way is Team Kakashi's cell?"

The man pointed toward the right hallway, and Sasuke nodded. "Proceed."

The man looked most like he was running.

Sasuke turned toward the right hallway, his heart pounding, and saw a label with Team Kakashi on it.

He pressed the code, and the 10 inch door slid open...

Meanwhile…

Kiki was bribing one of Orochimaru's less loyal servants to open the door.

"Okay, here's what you get. You can not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not have my bank allowance for a year."

"Deal, said the stupid servant.

Pressing the code, the door opened.

All the three girls ran out, shoved the man in, and locked the door to a new code.


	6. They Meet Again

**-Three Year Meet -**

Sakura, Naruto, and Sai were almost completely drained of their chakra because of Kabuto, even though Naruto's chakra was already healing fast.

Sakura was infuriated that they had fallen for such a puny trap, and Naruto, realizing Sakura was the only one who could get them out, let her drain a bit of his chakra using a special jutsu. (the wall was jutsu repellent covered so he couldn't use his special jutsus.)

As soon as Sakura was about to punch the door open with her monstrous strength, she saw a boy with dark hair that looked the same height as Naruto.

Thinking it was one of Orochimaru's servants (hey, it was dark!) she tried punched his stomach. "SHANNARO!" she yelled, and her inner sakura's strength appeared. She punched at him a million, no trillion times, and noticed that 'Orochimaru's servant' had blocked all of her attacks.

He's pretty good, thought Sakura. She got ready to thrust another fist.

Suddenly then, her eyes adjusted to the darkness, and she saw it was actually…

"Sasuke?"

She wondered if she should hug him to death or beat him up, so she decided to stare instead.

She also noticed his ugly outfit.

Sasuke could also not believe that it was her…and how strong she had gotten over the past years.

Naruto was also staring at him in surprise.

Sai…well, he just smiled. (as usual)

All was quiet. Then…

"EAT THE OTHER WHITE MEAT, EVIL IPOD BREAKER!" yelled Chicken, who was seriously pissed at having no iPod.

She grabbed her trusty (metal, I might add) bat, and tried to whack him with it. Sasuke blocked it with his other hand, and Mug kicked him in a place you are NOT supposed to kick boys unless they are evil, cursed, snake followers who don't care if they commit suicide.

Sasuke doubled over in pain, spitting out curses, while Kiki was getting Team 7 to their feet. "What about the others?" Sakura asked. "They're all safe, and outside of danger." said Kiki. Then she kicked him again in his shins and screamed into Sasuke's ear, "THIS IS FOR BREAKING KANKURO'S IPOD!" then she ran away. Sakura wondered if they should bring Sasuke back to Konoha. Oh yeah. It was part of the mission. So she grabbed Sasuke's hand and ran off too, following Kiki, Mug, and Chicken.

Sai and Naruto blinked, and finally seemed to register what was happening. "YOU STOLE KANKURO'S IPOD?" he yelled into thin air.

No response, obviously.

He told Sai, "We should gather 3/4 of the ninjas to defeat Orochimaru."

Sai nodded, smiled, and they left.

**-Blackmail-**

Sakura was holding Sasuke's hand (which she most blushingly realized (she still has a crush on him, you know!)) and was running toward the exit that Kiki had most helpfully trailed while playing with her highlighter.

When they were almost there…

Sasuke stopped.

Sakura looked behind her. "Are you coming or not?"

Sasuke said, "I have to stay here and gain power with Orochimaru."

"Well, then, if you don't come outside, I SWEAR that I'll make all the fan girls come in here and chase you around!"

Sakura held up her cell phone.

Sasuke reluctantly decided to go.

**-Fan Girl Troubles-**

Kiki, Sakura, and Sasuke finally made it outside.

1/4 of the ninjas were there. Basically, all the girls.

Sasuke looked around the bright and colorful scenery. He hadn't been outside in a FEAKING LONG TIME.

Uh oh.

It was then he realized…

That all those girls…were from HIS LOVEY-DOVEY FANCLUB!

"Aah!" he yelled, and RAN back to Konoha with all the fangirls chasing after him.

**-Pwned-**

Shikamaru was using his Kage Mane no Jutsu to trap Orochimaru, while Naruto used his Orioke no Jutsu….which really didn't help that much, since Orochimaru WAS Michael Jackson's evil twin. You know what? This battle took SO long…that I'll just explain what happened.

They all beat up Orochimaru and Kabuto.

Wham.

Just like that.

Poof.

Dead.

That's the summary.

But if you like detail and people pwning each other, read below.

**-Here's the Scene if you Want to Know what Happened-**

"Bwhahaha!" laughed Orochimaru. "You will never defeat me!"

He ranted on and on, about how _extremely strong_ he was, until Gaara and Neji got tired of it.

Also, Kabuto stood by his side and pretended to look, well, _cool_.

That was _most_ annoying.

So, Gaara simply killed Kabuto by wrapping him in a desert storm coffin. Snap. It was that easy. As Gaara's sister always said, "Weak dogs bark more often."

Then, Shikamaru used his Kage Mane to trap Orochimaru.

Neji used his Heavenly Spin no Jutsu to avoid all zooming snakes, and used the 64 strike to finally kill Orochimaru.

There we go.

Mission success-COMPLETE! WOOT!


	7. Danger Leaves

**-In the Hospital-**

Sasuke was knocked out by all those girls stampeding all over him. So, now, he was in the hospital, injured but not that quite. They had not allowed anyone to go into his room, except for Team Kakashi.

He looked around, and next to him was a white flower. He looked the other side, and saw Sakura. She looked as if she were about to cry.

"What?" Sasuke asked her crossly.

"I was just wondering…if it would ever be the same three man team again…" Sakura murmured, looking outside at the lazily drifting clouds.

There was silence.

"EAT THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!" yelled Chicken as she popped into the room with Chouji's barbeque chip bag, which was then followed by Chouji waving his arms around.

Sakura winced.

Sasuke blinked.

Naruto came into the room, rummaging through his backpack filled with ramen.

He came up with the tiny leaf headband that Sasuke had left during his fight with Naruto.

"Here." He held it out to Sasuke, and Sasuke held it.

Hey.

Naruto smiled.

Who said they couldn't be best friends forever?

I DID! BWHAHAHAHAHA! Not.

**-Tsunade's Announcement-**

All the genin, chunin, and jounin that had participated in the mission before was summoned to the Hokage's office. That's approximately sixteen people, not including the girls who had failed at getting back to 'Texas'. Tsunade had no idea why, but she decided that she would try it again, this time with_Akatsuki_…AHEM!

Here is how she explained it…

All the ninja filled into the tiny jam packed room, as Tsunade waited impatiently for all of them to get settled down.

Mug, Chicken, and Kiki were busy listening to Kankuro's NEW iPod (that they recently stole while he was buying it), while the rest of the people in the room payed attention to what Tsunade said.

"All of you will be sent on a mission to destroy Akatsuki." said Tsunade gruffly, "And stop them from stealing any more biju. Those three girls are going with you on this mission as well-"

_If you want to be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,_

_Make it last forever, friendship never ends!_

_If you want to be my lover, you got give what you have,_

_Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is, baby, I-_

"AHEM!" coughed Tsunade rather loudly. "You three girls will be going on that mission as well, and Sasuke, you must guard them!"

Sasuke protested, "Why me?"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "It's your punishment for being with Orochimaru."

Just then, Kiki looked up and turned off the iPod Nano, much to the complaints of the other girls.

She squinted her eyes at Tsunade, and asked, "Do I know you?"

Tsunade put her hand to her forehead and groaned.

**-Now back to the story-**

Anyhow, everyone was going, including Sasuke, who would probably try to kill Itachi during the time when everyone was sleeping, so the girls were sent to keep watch on him…and he was supposed to guard them….all while listening to Kankuro's iPod Nano.

So they all set off, with the girls screaming as usual.

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"SHUT UP!"

You're probably wondering how they knew where Akatsuki's members were.

Well, Ero-Sennin, a big pervert that _all_ girls hated, was peeping in somewhere far from Konohagakure when he noticed a black and red flowery coat.

Ooh, he thought. Here's my chance to meet some cute lady!

As he followed the cloak, it stopped, he stopped, and his eyes widened.

Those were the Akatsuki members!

He had realized this and flew/hopped his way back to Konoha to report this to the Godaime (Fifth Hokage, better known as Tsunade)

Tsunade gave a map to each of the ninjas, so if one of them got lost, they could still locate the Akatsuki.

So, again, back to the story.

The girls, once again, were pestering EVERYONE. They poked Shino's hair, made fun of Kiba's pet dog, screamed in Sasuke's face for being a _iPod crusher_, and would _not _stop bothering _anyone_.

**The girls were also in the LEAST helpful.**

Mug said cheerfully, "I'll go get the firewood!" She brought back a gigantic tree trunk. (Who knows how she did that!)

Chicken, after Mug left, begged, "Ooh, can I cook the food?" Unfortunately, she burnt every provision that everyone had.

Kiki wanted to set up camp. "Please, please, may I?" She then ripped apart every tent, which she _insisted _was an accident.

In the morning, _everyone _was tired, except for the girls, who did their stupid yodels of:

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Shut _up_!"

That day, as they were edging closer and closer to the Akatsuki's hiding spot,

Sakura whispered to Sasuke,

"Those girls are getting on my nerves!"

Sasuke looked as if he didn't care one bit.

As he did before he left Konoha.

Sakura felt a little better.

**-When they reach the Akatsuki Hiding place-**

They were all standing in front of a gigantic boulder blocking what was supposedly the entrance to a cave.

"Do any of you guys know what the battle plan is?" Naruto whispered.

Chicken's hand shot into the air. "Ooh! Me! I know!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Hn?"

"To…EAT THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!" screamed Chicken as loud as she possibly could.

Shikamaru covered Chicken's mouth. "

"Hush. No," Shikamaru said.

"First, we make sure nobody is watching us."

Shikamaru gestured to Hinata and Neji.

They nodded gravely, Hinata a little less so.

"Byakugan!"

They could see nothing dangerous.

Shikamaru nodded.

"Then, we charge headfirst in, crashing through the boulder."

He looked at Sakura and Chouji.

"YAAHH!" yelled Kiki. She crashed headfirst into the gigantic boulder and knocked herself out.

"Great." Shino said dryly. "Now we have an unconscious burden on our hands."

"No, we don't." Shikamaru said simply. "Let the other girls take care of her. Sasuke, you stay outside."

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "Why me?"

Shikamaru looked irritated.

"That's because Hokage-sama told the girls to watch over you."

"Darn."

"Shannaro!" yelled Sakura, as she punched the boulder into two clean pieces.

Chouji whined. "Aw, come on, Sakura, I didn't get to use my Ninpou-don Seishou!"

Sakura cracked her knuckles. It was now her inner sakura in control. "Is there a problem with me doing that?"

Chouji freaked out.

"Right…"Shikamaru said. "Then…each team fights one Akatsuki member…"


	8. Meet Akatsuki

**-Outside-**

"Ugh…"moaned Kiki as she woke up, rubbing the large bump on her head.

"Alright. She's awake. Time for me to leave." Sasuke stood up, and with a _whoosh_, he was gone.

"Hunh?" Kiki looked at the empty hole where the boulder was before.

"Ooh! I broke it with my head! Let's go!" Kiki raised a fist in the air, and ran into the pitch black darkness.

"Wait up!" exclaimed Chicken and Mug, and they followed her in.

**-Inside-**

Naruto and the others were each holding a kunai, tense, sweating, and ready for battle.

Naruto had sent a clone ahead to sneak, but it had not come back.

Suddenly all them heard a voice.

"So, you're bringing the biju to us?"

Naruto gritted his teeth.

They couldn't see anything, until Sakura put her chakra in her hand and led the way.

They saw that he had yellow hair, blue eyes…holy &#!

Even Sasuke, who had arrived a moment before, gasped in horror.

Kiba exclaimed, "He looks just like Naruto! Well, you know, except with more hair…"

The blond dude took out two kunai and suddenly appeared in front of Naruto, pointing the kunai at his neck.

Naruto pointed his finger up Naruto style and said in a cocky voice, "Who in Hokage's name are you!"

The blond spikey haired large version of Naruto said, "I am… your father!"

Naruto faints.

"And…CUT!" yelled someone behind a boulder.

**-Before, Hiding behind a Tiny Boulder-**

Before, Kiki, Mug, and Chicken were all hiding behind a boulder, when Mug rummaged through her backpack, and found a Digital Camera. (That she had stolen from Kankuro. Poor him)

"Ooh!" All the girls gathered around the Digital Camera, giggling to their selves. Kiki grabbed the camera, and pressed, record, and started recording the scene, replayed below.

_Naruto pointed his finger up Naruto style and said in a cocky voice, "Who in Hokage's name are you!"_

_The blond spikey haired large version of Naruto said, "I am… your father!"_

_Naruto faints._

Chicken popped up. "And…CUT!"

**-Now in the Cave-**

The blond dude whirled around, and sure enough, three girls were standing there, still grinning their heads off, recording the scene…even though they said cut.

The blond dude threw the two kunai he was holding at the girls, and Chicken, screaming, "EAT THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!" hit them with her bat.

Fortunately, Chicken was extremely experienced with the bat, and so she _flung _the bat. (What?)

It caught the blond dude by surprise, and so he was knocked out.

Dusting her hands together, Chicken grinned and gave the thumbs up to go further in the cave.

Shikamaru was wondering since _when _were the girls so helpful…? Ah well. Thinking too much was troublesome.

All of them left, except for Naruto, who was, well, still unconscious.

Mug poured her water bottle on his face, and he woke up with a comical expression on his face.

He then returned to normal and left to find his comrades. (which was not considered normal amongst us regular people.)

The blond dude woke up, noticing that he was tied up expertly and was being watched by the girls who were listening to iPod music and watching the recorded scene over and over again.

Kiki noticed he was awake.

"Hi," she said. "Do I know you?"

"Untie me," he demanded.

"Untie me," Kiki said.

"You're not tied up," said the blond dude.

"You're not tied up," said Kiki.

"Yes, I am!" said the blond dude calmly.

"Yes, I am!" mimicked Kiki.

"I, the Yondaime, command you to untie me!" he yelled, losing his temper.

"I, the Yondaime, command you to untie me!" Kiki replied.

"Darn it!" yelled the so called Yondaime.

"Darn it!" giggled Kiki, covering her mouth.

The blond dude gave up. 


	9. Twists and Turns

**-Naruto-**

Just then, Naruto and his teammates had encountered 8 Akatsuki members.

**Here's the Organization:**

Kakashi Team Vs Itachi and Kisame

Team Gai Vs Kakuzu and Zetsu

Team Asuma Vs Deidara

Team Kurenai Vs Sasori

**-Present in the Cave-**

Each team was fighting and sweating heavily, and the Akatsuki members were close to winning.

**-Kakashi Team-**

The Kakashi team was fighting hard.

Especially, well, you know. Sasuke. (Hey, he didn't train with Orochimaru for nothing, you know) "Shannaro!" screamed Sakura as she kicked Kisame into a hole through the cave. (Ow. That must have hurt a lot.)

Naruto was busy pestering Itachi with is Kage Bunshins. Smoke filled the air, and Kakashi couldn't see anything. Suddenly two blue masses of light with the sounds of toilet flushing and birds chirping (what? This is supposed to be humorous, for story's sake! Geez!) were coming directly toward him.

Before he could do anything, he heard the yells of, "Odama Rasengan tebayo!" (from Naruto) and "Raikiri!" and "Eat this!" (from Sasuke) as his mind faded into pitch black darkness forever. And you know what? He was…Pwned.

**-Team Gai-**

"WOOOOOAAAAAAAAH!" yelled Gai dramatically. (Hey, wait a sec…he's not in the mission, so why is _he _here? You know what? …Don't ask.)

Rock Lee punched Kakuzu in the stomach, and gave him a…

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" yelled Rock Lee, and hit Kakuzu with his foot.

Kakuzu landed on the ground, twitching madly.

Zetsu backed away. He looked at the pink shirted brunette girl, and was about to attack her with kunai when-

"Byakugan!" Neji yelled. "Sixty four strike hits no jutsu! Three! Six! Twelve! Twenty Four! Forty eight! Ninety six!" he growled, while slamming his chakra needles into Zetsu's body. Zetsu collapsed.

Rock Lee looked teary. "Our youth has won us this fight!"

"Oh, Lee, you have grown so WISE!" sobbed Gai dramatically.

"Gai Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai Sensei!"

Rock Lee hugged his sensei, sobbing.

Gai wept as well, tears falling down his face.

There was a scene of them hugging each other in the sunset…

And a wave crashed over them

Tenten and Neji looked embarrassed.

**-Team Asuma-**

"Yoooooosh!" yelled Chouji.

"Geez, this is going to be troublesome.

Deidara looked amused as he checked out the- ahem- "Fat Ass." He insulted Chouji.

Chouji's ear's twitched.

"Hunh? Did I hear something…?" asked Chouji, a vein popping out of his head.

"Ahem. Naturally, I would paint my enemies before I killed them…however…you're not fit for this…fat ass."

Chouji bursted through finally.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" he roared. Flames were in his eyes. He popped the green pill into his mouth, went super strong, and killed Deidara…snap…just like that.

"Geez… ah, whatever. At least I didn't have to do anything troublesome," said Shikamaru sourly.

**-Team Kurenai-**

Team Kurenai didn't have to anything, by the way. You know why? Cause SASORI'S ALREADY DEAD! SAKURA AND OLD PA CHAN KILLED HIM BEFORE THIS! GEEZ! YOU PEOPLE ARE SURE STUPID! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**-Back to Guarding the Blond Dude-**

Kiki wrinkled her nose. "You look like Naruto."

The blond dude looked hopeful. "Then will you let me go? I'm his father, the Yondaime."

Kiki grabbed the bat and started hitting her palm menacingly with it. "I…HATE…NARUTO!" (Why? Well, because she felt like it, of course.)

Yowch. You don't want to know what happened after that.

Except for…

That Kiki beat up the blond dude without breaking a sweat. Sure, he was a tied up Hokage. It might not have been fair, but Kiki was NOT EVEN A NINJA! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? HE WAS PWNED!

You know, when Yondaime said that he was Naruto's father and proclaimed that he was the Fourth Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, Chicken and Mug were busy recording it on Kankuro's digital camera. Bwhahaha.

**-Next Day-**

They brought home the Yondaime, and returned. The mission was completely successful.

After Kiki beat him up with a bat, his memory returned to normal-apparently Akatsuki brainwashed him- and so the Yondaime Hokage, 33 years old, amazingly, treated Naruto out to ramen.

The girls met Tsunade later on, and showed her the proof.

Tsunade's eyes twinkled.

"All you have to do now is to clap your heels ten times. I have arranged it for you to go back to this…Texas.

Naruto looked seriously pissed.

"What! Then why did you make them do the missions with us!"

Tsunade shrugged her shoulders. "Two reasons. First one: I felt like it. Being Godaime is boring out of my mind, so I decided to have a little fun for once." "WHAT!" They all roared. (Except Shikamaru, who thought it was too troublesome to roar)

"Hold on, I'm not done yet," said Tsunade. "The girls have proven themselves worthy enough to visit Konoha whenever you wish."

"That's EVEN WORSE!" screamed them all. (Except Shikamaru, again)

And so, the raging Naruto watched as the girls clapped their heels ten times.

The last words they heard were-

"Alright, Chicken! Let's go back to TEXAS!"

"EAT THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!"

**The End. Hoped you liked it!**


End file.
